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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

yikes!!

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but I'm sure I will start back to blogging soon.  Grad school will be over and done with after the first week of May.... then school will be out  after the 2nd week in June.  Then I will be a free woman! Yippee!!
 
Yesterday at school my Photography class watched "Rivers and Tides" which is a documentary about the artist, Andy Goldsworthy.  If you've never heard of him, you should google his name and look at some of his art.  Its amazing.  He does nature sculptures and then photos them.  Anyway, today I took my 11 students outside to create our own nature sculptures and then photograph them.  It was fun and today was a beautiful day! 
 
I got in on the art and started making a huge swirl out of a hige pile of cut grass....  It was probably 12 to 15 feet long and about 1 foot tall.  I was almost finished and ready to photo....when I looked down at my hand.  My. Engagement. Ring. Was. Gone.  I commenced to freak out.
 
I yelled, "CATASTROPHE!!"  All of my students came over and helped me dig through the grass to find it.  It took about 5 minutes but I was so releaved when I heard a girl say, "I found it!"

I yelled out "Thank JESUS!"  and gave her a hug!  It was a great moment.  It reminded me of going to the beach with Brian and Jessica when he lost his wedding ring while passing a football with Jesse.   Brian had to go buy a metal detector in order to find his ring.  I was seriously contemplating doing that...at least for those frantic 5 minutes.
 
I was done with my sculpture after that....and I didn't even get to photo it.  :(
 
 

 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

So, you think everyone in the US should speak English?



This is for those of you out there who think everyone in the US should speak English.  Have a little patience with people! 
 It is extremely difficult to learn English as a second language.  Unless you have ever tried to do it, don't criticize another person!
 

  1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 
  
  2) The farm was used to produce produce . 
  
  3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  
  4) We must polish the Polish  Furniture. 
  
  5) He could  lead if he would get the lead out.
  
  6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  
  7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 
  
  8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  
  9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
  
  10) I did not object to the object. 
  
  11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 
  
  12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 
  
  13) They were too close to the door to close it. 
  
  14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
  
  15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
  
  16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
  
  17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 
  
  18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
  
  19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 
  
  20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?  
  
  Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. 
  
  English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. 
  
  We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from  Guinea nor is it a pig. 
  
  And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? 
  
  If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? 
  
  Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a 
play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? 
  
  How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes 
off by going on. 
  
  English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. 
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. 
  
  Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

  
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is.....
  
  
    'UP.' 
  
  It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a 
meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the Officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? 
  
  We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP our day.  We polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP  
trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. 
 
  
  And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at 
night. 
  
  We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!  To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a 
desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP  almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirt y definitions. If you are UP to it, you might 
try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a 
hundred or more. 
  
  When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
  
  One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, and so.... it is time to shut UP!